Re. On chali & vEsavi.

28 Apr 97 15:10:35 -0700

In the kanda padyam 
  ahamulu sannamu lAyenu  
  dahanuDu hitavayye dIrghataralayye niSal 
  bahu SitOpEtambai 
  yuhuhU yana vaNake jagamu lurvInAthA! 
We have few small problems. 
Is it dIrghataralu or dIrghatarAlu? The former may not be  
proper usage. But if you correct it as dIrghatarAlu then 
Line 2 does not follow rules. 
It flows correctly upto  
   dahanuDu hitavayye dIrgha 
as per rules and then breaks them. 
Probably the line should be read as 
 dahanuDu hitavayye dIrghataramayye niSal. 
Also, in the last line I believe the correct version should be 
yuhuhU yani and not yuhuhU yana. 
As per the 'dhOraNi' of the poem, it lacks consistancy. Having said 
sannamu lAyenu, hitavayye and dIrghatarAlayye do not fit the style. 
To justify the line 2 style the line 1 should read as 
ahamulu sannamu layyenu. 
Well the first two lines then do not match the kind of language and flow 
of the last two. Firts part of poem entirely bent on 'telugu' side and 
second dosed with strong sanskrit samAsas. This is like the famous slOkam 
  bhOjanam dEhi rAjEndra, ghRuta sUpa samanvitam | 
  mAhishamcha Sarshcandra chandrikA dhavaLam dadhi || 
[ The second line was by kALidAsu; first line was by three students 
  who were trying hard to compose one slOkam. So the story says. One 
  can easily spot more than one author for the tiny slOkam!         ] 
To evenize the flow and language, may be, the poem reads as: 
ahamulu sannamu lAyenu  
dhanuDu hitavAye dIrghataralAye niSal 
bahu SitOpEtambai 
yuhuhU yani vaNake jagamu lurvInAthA! 
Now dIrghataralAye or dIrghataramAye? I prefer the former because  
of the follower  word niSal.  
Now we see the second line changed at two places and the rest of 
the poem almost as per the original post. In toto. there were  
three minor changes. 
Still I am not comfortable with the third line. Though every thing 
is in order, the word 'SitOpEtambai' does not fit the 'pace' of the 
- Tadigadapa Syamala Rao.